Talking about Death.

Death, what's to talk about?  You ask. Well, you are going to be involved in it one day so, you must admit, it is a bit personal. Actually this website is for special people, Loving Couples. If you are part of a couple in a loving relationship you are one of those special people so read on.

In a perfect world loving couples would talk about death and learn more about the effect of the grieving period before the inevitable death of one of that couple.  Death, especially the death of a loved one, is a serious subject.

WHY SHOULD THE SUBJECT OF DEATH BE TABOO

 Sometime in the future, and none of us know when, me, you, your loved one,everyone, will die. Grief following the loss of a loved one is a painful period that can have a terrible effect and be very damaging to the health on the one that has been left behind to grieve. This is normal but I believe grieving can be made easier and hopefully less damaging to those bereaved. Life expectancy in the United Kingdom is about 80 years for men and 82 years for women, so you probably have a few years yet, but, it is never too early to have the conversation about the death of one partner in that loving relationship, and God forbid, sudden and unexpected things happen.

  I URGE YOU TO START THE CONVERSATION WITH YOUR LOVED ONE.

Can you answer these simple questions about your wife/husband, partner or loved one?

What type of funeral would He/She wish to have? Funeral practices are influenced by religious and cultural traditions, costs,and personal preferences.

Religious or secular, buried or cremated.

What type of coffin would He/She prefer? wood, wicker, wool, cardboard, palm leaf, bamboo or even a shroud.

What type of burial service? Religious or Humanist. What type of music would He/She wish?

Assisted dying: the rights of the person to decide how and when to die?

An organ, tissue, and bone donor?


If you can honestly answer yes to those questions you probably do not need to read any further.
If the answer is no to any question I urge you to read on. These are only the start of the questions that arise when your loved one is taken from you and believe me, from my personal experience, to know the answers in advance will help during your grieving and maybe many years of regret.



In a poll by a leading research consultancy , ComRes " A poll of more than 2,000 people by ComRes found that just 7 per cent of people have considered their likely demise deeply enough to have written down their wishes about care in the future when they are unable to make decisions for themselves."

The total anual deaths in the UK is around 560, 000 there are no official statistics for those left behind to grieve but I guess that it is over 400,000, one day you may be one of those and it is that group that I believe this website can help. It will not cost you anything, we don't need your email address. Nothing to pay, nothing to lose. You will win some information that may one day be very valuable to you.

No, of course we can not make it easier for the one that is dying or dead, but I believe that it can be made easier for the one left behind. My hope is that this page can be used to start a conversation between all those in a loving relationship. Far better that you talk now than later on say "I wish I had known that".


One more thing to say.  I am not a professional anything, I have no qualifications  but I know, from personal experience, had I had this knowledge prior to the death of my wife the period following her passing would have been very much easier. I promise you that I can make death easier for the bereaved if you read this page and use it to show your partner, spouse or other loved ones to start a conversation before it is too late. 

Too late...

"Two weeks before my retirement the bad news came. Sarah had been attending the hospital with a problem, this is not the place to go in to details, but that "problem" became, out of the blue, confirmation of cancer. Thirty sessions of chemotherapy culminated in that October meeting with the consultant and the news "six months at most".

Quote from "My Story". Click to visit "My Story"

Yes, I had missed my opportunity to discover the answers, they would go forever unanswered. Sarah only had three months. Please don't finish up like me. .

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