AFTER LOSS

Sad memories return at Christmas.

Christmas is of course a busy time for all of us, traveling on a crowded bus to town, moving around busy crowded shops, and often in rotten winter weather. Short tempered folk grabbing the last of that "must have" present whilst shoving others out of their way, yes, it all becomes a bit of a strain that lays heavy on those that are once again, or for the first time, shopping alone and worrying whether their gift will please the recipient.

My Christmas card list is in a book that is about eleven years old and the names and addresses were written in by my wife Sarah. Now that I am on my own the book comes out every December and at that point the sadness and memories return as I cross out those that have passed on during the last twelve months and reading through the list of those lost over the last ten years. I expect that many of us have a book like this, especially as the memory for addresses seems to get worse every year that passes.

I am a non-believer, but at this time I find my Bible tells it the way it is, the bible tends to do that, and I do consider that it is the finest book ever written that tells you how to live a good life. The part that I refer to is, Ecclesiastes 3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: 3:2 A time to be born, And a time to die; Yes, those names in your book that now have a line drawn through them are the result of what is natural and must be, it's all right to be sad but you also have those good memories of those Christmas times in the past.

There just may be a book somewhere and the names that you have crossed out are written in as they are welcomed.

Grief Rituals Help on Valentine's Day

By Mary Tousley

We’ve barely made it through the holidays of December and January, and now the stores are filled with hearts and flowers and candy, all of it in celebration of the gift of love. But February 14 can be a difficult day for those of us who are grieving.

We can respond by packing the day with meaning. Think of it this way: It’s much easier to cope with memories we’ve chosen than to have them take us by surprise. We can go to a special place, read aloud, or listen to a favorite song. We can celebrate what once was and is no more.

Personal grief rituals are those loving activities that help us remember our loved ones, and give us a sense of connectedness, healing and peace. Creating and practicing personal grief rituals can also help us release painful situations and unpleasant memories, freeing us to make our memories a positive influence in our lives.

What follows are just a few examples of personal grief rituals. Think of ways that you can adapt them and make them your own.

The above is copied from the The Monthly Newsletter of the Open to Hope Foundation . The examples mentioned above can be found on their website, http://www.opentohope.com/ and signing up to receive their newsletter, it's FREE.

SPIRITUALISTS, MEDIUMS and PSYCHICS

Where do you start with this subject? By asking yourself questions.

Is it possible to hear the voices of those that have passed away? Is there any proof? Do you need proof or must you just accept that it happens? I'm a Christian and The Holy Bible forbids it. Why? Is it a confidence trick? Is it just entertainment? Does it help? Is it harmful?

As you read this page you should keep in mind that, I, the author of this page, does not believe that you, or anyone, can hear the words of your loved one that has left this earth. Of course, I may be wrong. I know that many folk do believe and it helps them through their life after their loss.

Is there any proof? Unfortunately not, and there have been many mediums that have been tested over the last 100 years in scientific tests, there is a 1 million dollar reward offered to anyone that can prove scientifically that hearing messages from someone that has died is possible. That reward still stands. Since the founding of the Society for Psychical Research in 1882 people have argued about this issue. http://www.spr.ac.uk/main/ for more information.

Do you need proof or must you just accept that it happens? You do need proof if you are a non believer, if you believe that it is possible you just accept it as a fact. That is where faith comes in, faith does not require proof.

The Holy Bible forbids it, Why? "Praying to the dead is strictly forbidden in the Bible. Deuteronomy 18:11 tells us that anyone who "consults with the dead" is "detestable to the Lord." The story of Saul consulting a medium to bring up the spirit of the dead Samuel resulted in his death "because he was unfaithful to the LORD; he did not keep the word of the LORD and even consulted a medium for guidance" (1 Samuel 28:1-25; 1 Chronicles 10:13-14). Clearly, God has declared that such things are not to be done." For more on this article go to, http://www.gotquestions.org/praying-to-the-dead.html

Does it help? Well, I know that it can help some that visit these psychics or listen to them. I have been told by them that they felt better and more able to accept the loss of their loved one. So, it did help them.

Does it do harm. It could where you to hear some information that was incorrect by being told that information by someone that you wished to believe in, but, if the psychic is a fake they will ensure that nothing like this happens to preserve their future. It may also harm your bank book.

Scientist Prof Richard Wiseman, University of Hertfordshire, says, "Mediums ( psychics ) are performing a stage show....relying on the fact that many in the audience are grieving..vulnerable...wanting to believe that their dead relative is speaking to them...they will search in their head to make the information fit. http://richardwiseman.wordpress.com/

Melinda Cooper, Medium, says, "...I don't ask any questions and I tape the reading so the client can listen back to it.....there are charlatans out there and it makes me angry because it gives us all a bad name. If you feel they are fishing or being vague, end the reading and ask for you money back".

Quote. "I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - C.G.Jung. Carl Gustav Jung (German; 26 July 1875—6 June 1961) was a Swiss psychiatrist, an influential thinker and the founder of Analytical Psychology. Jung is considered the first modern psychiatrist to view the human psyche as "by nature religious" and make it the focus of exploration. See more at, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Jung

So the question is not answered. It must be a personal thing.

( I hope that this post is fair to all concerned. I have attempted to give a fair representation of both points of view, for and against. I would be pleased for you to contact me if you disagree. )

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