Funeral firm opens to the public.

This website has always tried to open up the conversation about death and I believe that it is a first that John Fraser and Son, funeral directors in Inverness, Scotland, have joined in Open Doors Day in Inverness.

Open Doors Day allows visitors to see behind the scenes of places usually closed to the public.

There will be the opportunity to see the mortuary and embalming suite and staff to answer questions. "... to furnish people with as much information as they want, to help put their minds at rest."

Open Day is January 20th but by arrangement John Fraser and Son would be happy for anyone to see their facilities at any time.

After Loss sincerely hopes that other funeral directors will take the opportunity to do the same.

Christmas without a loved one.

January 16, 2013

Christmas without a loved one.

Hello Friend. All family holiday times remind us of those loved ones that we have lost and the first Christmas is often harder than at other times.

Memories of past Christmases stay in your memory for ever, and, I believe, that's how we want it to be, but pain and sadness are not how our loved ones would have wanted it.

You will start your Christmas days with your own private memories, alone with some tears, so very normal, but, many of those memories can put a smile on your face to meet the day.

If you have family, remember, they also had that loss and possibly feel the way that you do. I found that taking a few moments together to talk about that missing family member, the happy memories of past times and Christ masses and then a few moments to remember in silence, will help everyone.

Friends that visit may feel unable to have an easy conversation with you until you mention the loved one that is no longer here and starting that short conversation will put the friend at ease.

It will be a hard day for you and for very many others that are doing the same and I send my love to help you through this day. You may find some help here.

The rocking chair.

December 1, 2011

You must remember, you're young, you're out with your girl friend, you are both just a little daft, we've all been there. Window shopping, we will buy that and that, and we will buy all of those. We didn't, we could never have afforded too. It was the full Ercol range for the dining room. We did get married and 18 months later our first son was on the way.

Perfume? Chocolates? No, just one part of the Ercol range. Sarah, my wife, was not aware that I had been in to Glasgow and asked about the ...

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Memoriums that you may like to use.

September 22, 2011
There are times when we are unable to write the words that suit the occasion and say what is in your mind, the below may help.

We do not think of you as gone, Your journey's just begun.
Life holds so many facets, This earth is only one.
Just thinking of you as resting, From the sorrows and the tears,
In a place of warmth and comfort, Where there are no days and years.
Thinking of you as living, In the hearts of those you touched,
For nothing loved is ever lost, And you are loved so much.

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Four funerals and a birth.

July 15, 2011
It is probably normal that as you reach my age, a little more than three score years and ten, that funerals become a regular occasion in your life, four in six months is quite a lot especially when three of them were my wider family.

Death is a fact of life that we will all come to at some time but most deaths leave behind those that loved the one that has passed away. The pain that the lost loved one, now at peace, possibly had, is now passed to those left behind to grieve over the loss.

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Prepare to Make it Through Christmas.

November 4, 2010
"With the holidays fast approaching, I think about last Christmas.

Last year was the first Christmas without my sister.  Personally, I felt like skipping over the entire season.  I knew in my heart that others were depending on me to help make the holidays bearable, so I helped.

I did ask less of myself though.  I did most of my shopping on line. When I did go out to the malls I was surrounded by happy, laughing people and I felt very alone. I didn’t feel like laughing and being happy. I ...

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A very good website. "Bereavement and loss".

August 12, 2010 the website of  "Breathing Space".

Breathing Space is a free and confidential phoneline service for any individual, who is experiencing low mood or depression, or who is unusually worried and in need of someone to talk to.

The service was launched in Glasgow in 2002, and became a national phoneline service in 2004.

Who is Breathing Space aimed at?

  • Breathing Space specifically, but not exclusively targets young men who are experie...

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What comes after loss?

July 1, 2010
Regardless to what occurs in your life one thing is certain, death.  One of every loving couple will one day be left behind and face a period intheir life that will give  them great pain.

You will have to face up to something that you have probably never experienced before, feelings and actions that you know are alien to what was the you that you knew so well.

It is my wish that everyone should be prepared for this period of grieving, know something about what will happen to you, how you will a...
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This may help you.

July 1, 2010

A helpful article by Sheri Pearl can be found at, "Deceased Son Gives Mom Signs, Comfort"

"There are numerous ways to connect up with loved ones on the other side. "    "Of course, you have to be open to it.  You can step right over a very valid sign, missing it entirely. "

Open to Hope is an online resource center dedicated to helping people find hope again after loss and can be visited at http://ope...

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About Me

Like many many others I have experienced the loss of a loved one, (see "My Story). I believe that those who will lose a loved one in the future could be helped in their grieving if they knew a little of what to expect. Whilst there will be grieving, some of the effects will be "normal" although alien to the bereaved at the time. To know in advance that many of the ways that you feel and the things that you do are the same as many others may be a great help. Please do not hesitate to contact me via the email link on this page.

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